The Diary
by luna the blonde
Summary: Ginny is afraid her past life at Hogwarts, evan years later, afraid of remembering her past. Soon she is flooded with old memories because of her old diarys. Is the greatest moment in all history clouded by her love? DH disregarded.


The Diary

Ginny was going through some of the old boxes in the attic. She was looking for the family ghoul to tell him to go back to the Burrow. It seems to her that she was the only one in her family that pitied the poor thing so when she finally moved out so did the ghoul. She didn't mind the ghoul, but since it accidentally exploded the bathroom sink while her baby girl was a few feet away, she had to put her foot down.

She was just about to go back down stairs when one of the old boxes caught her eye. It was a small shoe box labeled 'Ginny's Quill Collection'. She smiled at herself because she knew that there was nothing of the sort in that box. Instead, there where her greatest treasures; her secret diaries. They had to be secret because after her first year at Hogwarts her mother would have killed her if she knew she still wrote in diaries. Also when you have six brothers, you want something like that secret.

She picked up the box and opened it. There where six journals, one for every year of Hogwarts except for her first year. She picked them up one at a time and flipped through them. She smiled at herself as she read about the time when she got a perfect score on a Defense Against the Dark Arts quiz in her second year. Another time, she remembered when Ron came out of the lake during the Triwizard Tournament with Harry and Gabrielle. She laughed out loud when she remembered how much she hated Umbrige and how much she loved the DA meetings. She lingered at the entry where she kissed the famous Harry Potter after wining the Quidditch Cup.

As she picked up the second journal she hesitated. She knew it was one of the hardest years at Hogwarts for her. Her hands shook as she debated to open it. She set it down and put it aside. She flipped trough the last journal, reading the entry when Percy finally came home, and looked into the empty box.

But it wasn't empty.

In the boxes was a silver ring with a single diamond on it. She picked it up and slipped it on her finger. It started to glow a faint blue light.

Ginny suddenly had old feelings washing through her that she never felt in years. She reached for the discarded journal and flipped it to the back where she knew where to find the entry she was looking for. It was Friday the thirteenth; "It took us three hours to find his body…"

Ginny slammed the book shut. _No,_ she thought, _I won't put myself through it again...But it has been over ten years since I wrote this, why am I still scared? _She looked at the book. She was scared that her feelings did not truly leave her. She was still in love. _No, I'm happily married with a little girl that needs me. _She thought back to that day. _I was young and stupid. A little Juliet falling for her Romeo. _Ginny opened the book to where her finger was a moment ago.

"It took us three hours to find his body. It took three, long, treacherous hours…"

Friday, June 13th

Middle of the night

It took us three hours to find his body. It took three, long, treacherous hours. No one as sure if he was alive or dead or wandering around helpless in the wilderness, until we found his body. His cold lifeless body. Most will rejoice but some will morn.

Harry set out earlier last night with one thing on his mind, _I will kill him tonight_. He did not listen to what we had to say. Yes, we had casualties that hurt us greatly but he thought that if he did not do it soon, all that he worked for would be lost.

Miles away, another man had the same thoughts and feelings, running through his vain. I know, because someone from his side told me.

No one saw the fight except one man that is alive; the other is dead. The man that is alive is in no state to tell us his story yet, but when he is, I'll be the first to know, because I am at his side. This is my story of the final battle that almost took both there lives.

Three hours ago everyone was in a state of panic. Nobody knew where Harry was or how to react if he was dead. Ron, yes my brother was with me, which is a real surprise.

Usually he would be with his two closest friends on such a big mission. But being who Harry is, he thought that everyone would be better if he did the final fight alone. From what my brother and his _girlfriend_ have told me, he gave them the same slip that he gave me, almost a year ago to this day.

They didn't take it as well as I did. My brother was in shock first only muttering stupid phrases like, "… but he's my mate…" and "… I wouldn't mess up, he should know that…" Then he got mad and started yelling, breaking things and cursing everything to the dirt he walked on to mom. He didn't calm down till Hermione started yelling at him for yelling so loud. It all settled down because she started crying on his shoulder because she was so scared. Nothing would have happened if I hadn't of went to the headmistress. She then rounded up the rest of what was left of the Order and we all went to look for him.

But you know, I think that being the famous 'Chosen One' finally got to his head.

All year, Harry was trying to be casual but he started trying to do more and more dangerous (and stupid) things. First he ran away this summer to find his parents grave. Yes, it's not that dangerous but he was still alone, well except for my brother, but with is fat head he doesn't really count ( I don't think he has been the same since that woman put the Hilarious Charm on him in the Department of Mysteries). Hermionestayed at our house and when the Order dragged them back, she was there with open arms to welcome Ron back. That's when Ron and Hermione became a couple. They don't know I was watching, but it's hard to avoid them when you need to tell them that dinner ready.

All year he would sneak out of the castle and come back at odd hours. I first noticed when all three of them where gone at dinner, so I waited for them in the common room. It was well past midnight when I must have fallen asleep because they where there the next morning. They said they where in the library but you don't come back in the middle of the night from the library. He didn't schedule as many Quidditch practices as he should of because we lost against Slytheran! He caught the snitch, but everyone else was still rusty from not practicing over the summer. I didn't confront him about this till Christmas and he just blew me off. I don't think I have ever been more humiliated in my life. Six months ago I thought he had feelings for me. I thought he had the same feelings I had for years.

We avoided each other until Easter when I was about to go to bed when I heard footsteps on the stairs from the boys dormitory. I went and looked but no one was there. I didn't think about it but the portrait hole opened on its own accord and I realized he was under his father's clock that Ron accidentally told me about! I went and peeked in the seventh year girls' dormitory to see if Hermione was there. She was, I checked if Ron was in bed and he was too, so I could safely assume that Harry was alone. I followed him. I wasn't thinking but I wanted to know where he was going alone. I couldn't see him but if I made to much noise he would stop and hide so I would walk right past him. I was about to give up when I herd the doors to the grounds open up and I followed. I didn't call out his name until we where both safely outside. I think he was startled that I followed him but to tell the truth, I don't know what he was feeling. I know I was angry at him for not caring about me, for now leavening me in the dark when I finally thought that we where going somewhere. I was upset that he avoided me as much as I avoided him. But I was also a little bit happy. This was the first time we where alone, truly alone, for the first time in ages. Of course, Filch comes out and nearly catches us, but I ducked under the clock just in time. I don't think we where ever this physically close with out being emotionally close.

I know I was mad then and I wished never to see him again but old feelings are coming back to me. I don't know what he did while he was fighting but every time I look at him I want to cry. He looks almost as bad as my oldest brother when he was attacked by that werewolf. He is still breathing but it sounds like he is in so much unbearable pain. We are at Grimmauld place. Everyone is either in the kitchen, worrying their heads off or looking for Death Eaters that might know something about how he killed You-Know-Who. I am the only one strong enough to look at him. Evan after all the pain he, well I, put myself though to love him, I can still be with him.

Mum's coming. She never would forgive me if she found out I still write in diaries.

Saturday, June 14th

Morning, about 4:53

I don't know how I can write what just happened. I don't know if it's real but it must because everyone is crying and asking me what happened. I only just got away from everyone. I couldn't bring myself to tell them, not yet. I don't know if I can tell anyone what just happened or if they will believe me. But I'll write it down so one day I will remember what true love feels like.

I was with him all night long, thinking of him. Everyone tried to make me go to bed but I wouldn't. Ron went to bed and Hermione followed suit. The sun was rising and I was alone with him. He started breathing harder than usual and I paid closer attention. I thought he was going to … but he didn't! He came around and said something. I didn't hear what he said but he said it again. He said, "Mum". I wanted to cry. He thought I was his mother. If he truly thought I was his mother, then he thought he was dead. I told him I was Ginny, not his mom. I put his glasses on his poor, mutilated face.

At first he looked at me confused and then asked if he was dead, because he was in heaven. Then I did cry. I put my head on his bed and just cried. All my emotions I had held up inside me for so long just came pouring out of my eyes like waterfalls. He put his hand on my head and told me he could not be happier because I was with him even after our harsh feelings about each other. I looked into his beautiful green, eyes and he looked into mine. I cried again and told him I'm sorry for everything I did wrong in our friendship and he told me I had nothing to be sorry for. And he apologized for everything he did and I told him there was nothing to be sorry for, except for avoiding me. We both laughed, (which is hard to do when you're also crying). He then did something I never thought he would do.

He told me that all through the year that he avoided me because he thought I would be mad at him for leaving me in the dark. He told me that the night we met outside he thought that we might get back together again but when we didn't he was even more hurt. He said before he passed out last night, he was afraid that he would never tell me his feelings he had for me if he died. He said that not a day went by without him thinking of me and feeling guilty for leaving me.

And then he took something from his pocket. He slipped it on my finger (with some difficulty because he was in so much pain) and told me that it was his mothers. It was a ring. A silver ring with a single diamond that seemed to glow a little blue light. He said he had the hardest time finding it but who ever whore it, it would glow blue when their lover was thinking of them. Then he asked me something else. He said,

"When you're done with school, and if you still feel the same about me,

Will you marry me?"

I cried so hard I don't think he heard me say yes. But he must of because I told him about a million times. I kissed him and he kissed me back. I kissed him again and again and again. Not what Ron did to what's-her-face Brown last year, but light, meaningful kisses. Then I realized that he stopped kissing me back. I looked at his beat up face.

He said "I will always love you, even after I die."

I said I will always love him two. And we kissed one more time.

He let out a sigh and a smile and he close his beautiful green eyes. But I still kissed him, even when he didn't kiss me back. I don't know how long Mum was watching me kiss him but she made me stop and made me stand up. Then I realized that he was sleeping again.

Mum went over to him and whispered his name in his ear.

He had to be sleeping…

She shook him a little and then put her ear to his chest.

He had to…

I was going to finish school and we would get married and have a family and all my dreams I had years ago would come true...

He _had_ to be asleep…

Mum started shouting his name and I wanted her to stop, but she didn't.

I don't know if I was still crying, or if I could still cry, but everyone started coming in the room to see why Mum was screaming and crying so loudly.

Everyone looked at him and almost everyone cried. Mum wailed on Dad's shoulder while he just rubbed her back. The only other time I seen her cry so hard was when Bill got married and when he died three weeks later because of his werewolf injuries. Hermione cried with her head on the bed where mine was moments ago. Ron was crying silently in the corner. Tonks was crying and Lupin held her and I swore I saw a tear fall from his eye. More people came in and more tears where shed. Then the nightmare began.

Ron, the big git, said loud enough for everyone to hear over everyone else's wails, "Who put on his glasses?"

Everyone slowly turned to look at me. I had so many emotions flying through me, all I could do was cry harder. I sat down where I was and hid my face in my hands. Then things got worse.

Mum saw the ring on my finger. "Where did you get that," pointing at the ring, "Did he give it to you?" That's when I ran. I couldn't take it anymore.

He just told me he loved me. And I love him. He told me he loved me. Why did he have to leave me when we where going to get married? Why did he give up on me? I never gave up on him.

I can't write anymore. My hand is shaking too badly and I can't see through my tears.


End file.
